Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Fantasy Football Tips

Around this time most Fantasy Football fanatics start getting the itch to look ahead to the draft/auction night. As last year's champion, people are looking to me for guidance (not really). Here's excerpts from an old Bill Simmons column from ESPN page 2 showing his top 25 tips:

The full article which expands on these tips can be found here (http://proxy.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=1246030)

Editor's note: This year I will be referring to myself in the third person on auction night as "the Champ". As in "The Champ bids $70 for LT".

By Bill SimmonsPage 2 columnist
Here are 25 tips for winning your fantasy football draft ... even if they could potentially cost you some friends in the process:
1. Do your homework.
2. The forced hangover.
3. Malodorous warfare.
4. Appearance is everything.
5. Introduce porn as early as possible.
6. Bring beer.
7. Make sure you have a creative team name.
8. Mindless head games.
9. Stay cool.
10. Even if porn has already been introduced, introduce it again.
11. Al Bundy warfare.
12. Bring up past triumphs.
13. Target the friend with a gambling problem.
14. The sarcastic, self-indulgent smile.
15. Peer Pressure always works.
16. Bodily functions.
17. Avoid the phone at all costs.
18. Don't praise anyone else's picks.
19. Keep up the draft heckling.
20. Plant the Pizza Bug.
21. Target the Whipped Guy
22. Encourage the sentimental pick
23. The AlbatrossIf somebody misfires in the early rounds with a shaky pick, keep reminding them of that mistake for the rest of the draft.
24. Remember why you're here, while you're doing your draft sabotaging, remember that you actually have to pick a good team, too. Follow these quick guidelines:
Don't worry about defenses, kickers and tight ends because they never win fantasy leagues. Running backs and QBs win fantasy leagues.
25. Don't ease up after the draft ends.

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