This Just In

If she were being honest, it would go something like this:

Dear Phil, I wanted you to be one of the first to know: on Saturday, I will hold an event in Washington D.C. to thank everyone who has supported my campaign. Over the course of the last 16 months, I have been privileged and touched to witness the incredible dedication and sacrifice of so many people working for our campaign. Every minute you put into helping us win, every dollar you gave to keep up the fight meant more to me than I can ever possibly tell you. On Saturday, I will extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy. Between now and then I will continue to try to exact a price from him otherwise I will continue the threaten to split the Democratic Party. I also have not entirely ruled out going the Joe Lieberman route and run as an independent. While I know this may not be supported by some of my colleagues, I am doing this for you. After all, this is not about me, it is about you. Heck, not even my husband Bill will be happy if I split the Democratic Party, but he didn't exactly help me gain the nomination did he? First he saddled me with that boob Mark Penn and then he kept on putting his foot in his mouth every time I had my foot on Barack's throat. I am willing to risk straining my marriage for you. After all, this is not about me, it is about you. While I haven't fully decided whether Barack needs to make me VP or if I will run as an Independent, if I go the VP route there are a few other requests (demands) that I would like to see my good friend Senator Obama make. Geraldine Ferraro must be put in charge of HUD. Pay off my campaign debts by tapping those (suckers) that donated to his campaign. Send Bill to Gitmo. I will be speaking on Saturday about how together we can implode Senator Obama's chances in November so I can preserve my options for 2012. The stakes are too high and the task before us too important to do leave America in his (muslim) hands. After all, this is not about me, it is about you. Lastly I want to remind you that you can still donate to my campaign. It is the only way you can tell the world how you feel. After all, this is not about me, it is about you. I can never possibly express my gratitude, so let me say simply, screw you. Sincerely, Hillary Rodham Clinton