Saturday, April 26, 2008

Why I Love Republicans

I may be on every political email list going. Routinely I get thinly veiled fundraising requests from Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, the DNC, the RNC, the DSCC, John Jerry, John Edwards, Bill Richardson, George Bush, and lately John McCain.

Last week I received a fund raising request from John McCain disguised as a survey to help shape the party's platform. Here are some of the great survey questions and the answers I would have like to have given:

Should America surrender in Iraq regardless of the consequences in the Middle East?
Yes please let's surrender.

Do you agree with Democrats who believe national defense spending should be slashed in order to fund domestic programs?

Yes, let's eliminate the Marines and fund giving everyone a pony

Do you support giving our law enforcement agents the tools they need to monitor terrorist communications?

No, lets take give them blindfolds and a donkey tail with a pin in it

Do you believe we should set a public date for withdrawing from Iraq even if it undermines our troops in the field?

Yes, let's undermine the troops

Should we appoint judges who will interpret the law instead of liberal activists who will make new laws from the bench?

Liberal activists please. Our existing laws are boring

Do you think we should work to give parents with children trapped in failing schools more choices to help their children have a better future?

Let's leave them in failing schools since now they have ponies that will make them happy

Of course after completing the questionnaire you are redirected to a site to donate to fund the McCain/RNC. You gotta love the style of the questioning though, "do you agree with uws or are you a communist?"

I don't suspect that regardless of the talk of getting out of the gutter, the party of Karl Rove, Lee Atwater, George Bush will take the high road. Look for them to appeal to the lowest common denominator while pretending to take the high road. If you believe that a Clinton McCain match up would be the most civil in history remember this is the same guy that said Chelsea Clinton is so ugly because Janet Reno is her father.

Funny crowd these Republicans, once you realize they are selling you a bill of goods, the comedy is all they have left.

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